She was born in Okinawa, Japan and grew up in Bellevue, Nebraska. She came out as a lesbian as a teenager and moved to New York City where she graduated from the American Academy of Dramatic Arts in 1991. She formed the rock duo The Murmurs with her former classmate at the academy Heather Grody and played gigs in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, and East Village. During the 1990s the band moved to Los Angeles, released several albums and toured with Lilith Fair. Their biggest album Blender included a collaboration with Charlotte Caffey and Jane Wiedlin of The Go-Gos; in addition, several of the songs were produced by k.d. lang, Hailey's significant other for several years. Hailey was also the inspiration for lang's 2000 album Invincible Summer. By 2001 Hailey and Grody changed the name of their duo to Gush. As an actress, she had a bit part in the 1997 coming out episode of Ellen which starred Ellen DeGeneres. She also appeared in the 1997 film All Over Me , and had a recurring role in television commercials for Yoplait . She made her television series debut on Showtime's The L Word.